This post was inspired by a tweet I read a while back about a guy who couldn’t stand one of his wife’s habits. I can’t quite remember what the actual issue was but he put it in such a funny way that he had even considered divorce for this pet peeve. I couldn’t get past his pettiness. I was thoroughly tickled but then again aren’t we all petty? So I decided to compile a list with the help of KOT. Everyone has their preferences. You might disagree with some of them but hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Here we go:
- Leaving drops of pee on the toilet seat and floor
- Squeezing toothpaste in the middle of the tube
- Likes pineapples on pizza
- Hates avocados
- Guys of “Wacha nipike halafu nikuje'”
- Guys who can’t handle their alcohol (get it together man)
- Guys with micro aggressions who take out their insecurities on other people
- Guys who invite themselves to your house asking, “Unanipikia lini?”(How about on the 13th of Never?)
- People who tell a lot of sob stories
- People who talk loudly and endlessly at other people
- “I like chics with dreadlocks” (that’s a lot of women, cabrón)
- Chronic lateness, wasting everybody’s time. Zero concept of time management.
- Making dates and never honouring them, sending half-assed apologies eons later.
- Using wrong glasses for drinks
- Using Calibri (pettiest I’ve seen)
- Crying after sex
- People who hate animated movies
- Guys who are easily emasculated
- People who cannot use proper grammar, construct proper sentences or use punctuation
- Clinginess
- Using bathroom sandals outside the house
- Body odour
- Lying
- Too opinionated about Jubilee, NASA and world peace
- Snoring
- Giving more priority to githeri over bread in the fridge
- Posting stuff on social media especially about relationships for attention
- Blowing nose in the sink or shower
- Guys wearing skinny jeans
- Wearing crocs in public
- “Mimi hutumia nduthi lakini leo nataka unilipie Uber”
- If she’s a man
- She gotta have teeth
- If he has a big bum, “Hatuwezi dondosa sisi sote”
- Emotional and illogical arguments
- If your friends are hoes
- For the guy: any girl I’m cleaner or neater than
- A passive aggressive man
- Not returning things where you found them
- “People who say Chumvi instead of Chumbi, what’s wrong with them?” (don’t even ask)
- “Uncut” men
- People who don’t know how to use possessive adjectives
- Sneezing and not saying “askies” (which means excuse me in Afrikaans)
- Chewing loudly, or with a open mouth
- Halitosis
- If you listen to riddimz
- Weaves
- Nail biting
- Living more than 20 minutes away (This isn’t practical in Nairobi, how far away does your girlfriend live?)
- Eating rice without a spoon (oooookaaaay)
- People who don’t like pets
- Glasses, “I’m blind myself, can’t be having genetically predisposed Ray Charles running round, gotta think of the kids”
- People who hate Game of Thrones
- Calling cartoons and comics childish
- A guy that can’t cook
- Shy people (wait, what?)
- People who drag their feet while walking
- Miraa chewers
- People with zero sense of humor
- Bad hygiene-bad smell, dirty shoes and clothes, smoker, unkempt hair, unmoisturized body.
- People who make runny eggs. Or drink raw eggs.
- Roughly cutting tissue paper
- Adding sugar to cereal. (But, but, but)
- When someone calls to say goodnight when I am obviously having a great night. How daring.
- Girls who says “Nibuy-ie”quite often
- Long history of sponsors
- Too many tattoos
- Too much make up and drawn eyebrows
- Wearing official shoes with denim pants.
- Selfish, self centred people
- Guys with long nails
- Returning empty cartons and bottles to the fridge (oh and covering empty pots and pans after serving the last piece of meal)
- Leaving wet towels on bed or floor
- Changing radio station in my car
- Not human (are you kidding me?)
- Girls who don’t like me
- Sagging pants
- Spitting
- Leaving the toilet seat up
- Not washing hands after peeing, again, hygiene
- Sassy
- Craziness (what is this craziness y’all speak of. Maybe I just have anxiety, or it’s my personality)
- Doesn’t give head
- “Hae, Wau, Poaz”texters
- Men who forget leg day (Issa no from me, dawg)
- Those pals who refuse to order at the cafê only to nibble on half your meal
- Picking the ear with car-keys
- She wears kitten heels
- Mixing rice with milk and calling it a meal
- She can’t cook chapati
- Patriarchal attitude
- He’s skinny
- He has a weird or old name
Did I leave anything out? Leave a comment below 😉